Spent time reviewing the hardcopy of my 2nd draft. Took a break and decided to go for the 3rd draft.
Made clearer the message. Started adding style modifications to make it more lyrical. Heavy use of 3. Alliteration. Making the language more visual and reducing the narrative. In other words using more of the storytelling and poetic skills that I have.
Also doing Joss Whedon touches, undercutting the heavy melodrama with humor.
It's shaping up well.
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